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What Happened Last Year

by tori

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1.
look at me look at me what do you see do you see do you see what I’m supposed to be supposed to be or the frightened girl that i once was lost in the sauce they say give up on your dreams they say drink all of your cares away but I’m straight edge anyway i said no to cigarettes i don’t like sidewalks anymore i like the way you feel against my skin i should have never let you in She’s dead The show is over I’m addicted to feeding your sin I knew that but i still let you in Ive accumulated calluses I’m shedding all my stability I’m no temporary terror, ill be scaring you forever in your dreams look at me look at me through a photo on your screen on you screen is there a halo on me on me on me or just curly hair to hide my horns lost in the sauce they say give up on your dreams they say take away your life they say but I’m afraid of death anyway i said no to cigarettes i don’t like sidewalks anymore i like the way you feel against my skin i should have never let you in She’s dead The show is over I’m addicted to feeding your sin I knew that but i still let you in Ive accumulated calluses I’m shedding all my stability I’m no temporary terror, ill be scaring you forever in your dreams a nightmare coming out of your head do you see me? I’m nearly dead I’m more afraid of you than you are of me i thought you said you wanted me to be Free - free from the dust that cleared Free - free from the music i hear from Me - me as in i am here forever this will be haunting me forever - Dreams! i said no to cigarettes i don’t like sidewalks anymore i like the way you feel against my skin i should have never let you in She’s dead The show is over I’m addicted to feeding your sin I knew that but i still let you in Ive accumulated calluses I’m shedding all my stability I'm no temporary terror, ill be scaring you forever in your dreams
2.
I’m having a mental breakdown i forgot what your name is i can’t seem to see straight now im not straight so i guess that fits like a glove like a song everyones heard of i want to be noticed by you at something other than a party or on stage forget my instagram name I’m more than that I’m more than that im 3D - three dimensional i tried to be vegan for like 3 weeks i guess thats kinda conventional i wear blue lipstick but i also like your flannels ill steal your dad hats but also your heart I’m having a mental breakdown its 11:48 at night i hate the light and i hate physics but i can’t seem to get you off my mind there we go i remember your name its plastered on my mental walls like a picture frame bands that you told me to listen to scatter across my mind but stick like tattoos I want to know you i want to know you im 3D - three dimensional i tried to be vegan for like 3 weeks i guess thats kinda conventional i wear blue lipstick but i also like your flannels ill steal your dad hats but also your heart
3.
Questioning 02:54
we sat in the field with stars in our eyes i looked down — want to tell you how i feel yet i didn’t feel the timing was right how long have you known? its been almost a year or two I’ve loved you more than anything but your heart never seemed to pull through are you gay? did you love me? did that kiss mean nothing? was it stress or just caffeine? i just like the fact you drink tea not coffee was my love unrequited will we ever be reunited? i request all of the answers because it rings in my head like a fucking jackhammer its lingering, this mild absence are you still abstinent? you brought me pain but never suffering i can’t say it for you but i loved you more than anything whether it was poto or frodo or the books that you’d read or how much you hate yolo i couldn’t get you out of my mind x2 are you gay? did you love me? did that kiss mean nothing? was it stress or just caffeine? i just like the fact you drink tea not coffee was my love unrequited will we ever be reunited? i request all of the answers because it rings in my head like a fucking jackhammer its lingering, this mild absence are you still abstinent? you told me you were questioning yet why was i the guinea pig you were so hellbent on using you told me you were just lonely yet now your girlfriend says different are you still abstinent? are you gay? did you love me? did that kiss mean nothing? was it stress or just caffeine? i just like the fact you drink tea not coffee was my love unrequited will we ever be reunited? i request all of the answers because it rings in my head like a fucking jackhammer its lingering, this mild absence are you still abstinent?
4.
you’ve become the “you” i refer to in all my love songs the pain is real but thats something i must admit and although what could go wrong has already gone wrong i want you to stay even if everything we had gone to shit i see your face in every billboard theres never been someone that I’ve wanted more ooh, my heart is tiny moving parts can you tell me what you want me to be for you can you tell me what you want me to see in you i see your face in every billboard theres never been someone that I’ve wanted more ooh, my heart is tiny moving parts i see your face in every billboard theres never been someone that I’ve wanted more ooh, my heart is tiny moving parts goodbye, you’ve been in my room all night, all night all night you say you can’t be raced on my time, my time my time i dont wanna race i just want you to be mine, be mine be mine i see your face in every billboard theres never been someone that I’ve wanted more ooh, my heart is tiny moving parts
5.
The Pain 03:59
I'm ripping you from my skin Like pages of a worthless book They say it takes seven years to rid you from someones touch but I need it before I burn into nothingness you took my innocence from my hands like it was yours to own yet you gave me nothing in return like it didn't matter that you watched me burn gasping for air, begging for you all the while don't get attached to the feeling of loving the pain laying down on the carpet floor do you even want this anymore don't love him the pain loves you more don't love him the pain loves you more i'm drawing over the lines you made with a pen so dark i can barely see myself in the night anymore and of course I know that it will never mend the pain, but you know I cant ignore my feeling, my heart is sore I wish I knew I loved you more gasping for air, begging for you all the while don't get attached to the feeling of loving the pain laying down on the carpet floor do you even want this anymore don't love him the pain loves you more don't love him the pain loves you more like it didn't matter that you watched me burn my feeling, my heart is sore I wish I knew I loved you more gasping for air, begging for you all the while don't get attached to the feeling of loving the pain laying down on the carpet floor do you even want this anymore don't love him the pain loves you more don't love him the pain loves you more

about

As it is my first one, we recall all of the crazy (emotional) events of the year that just passed. So... what happened?

credits

released September 21, 2017

Tori Laine || Lyricist/Lead Vocalist
Guitar/Harmony || Milo Duhn (miloduhn.bandcamp.com)

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about

tori New York

20. Long Island born. Acoustic singer-songwriter just looking to perform wherever is needed.

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